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and she turned me into sand...


You make me feel sick.

Not in an "I hate you and you disgust me" kind of way. Not even in a "You make me nervous" kind of way. I just feel...off. Wrong. Unbalanced. Like I've been tipped off kilter. Like there's magnets pulling me in a million different directions. Whenever I think of you. Or whenever I'm around you. Whenever someone says your name. When I see that picture I forget I have of you. Its like my stomach and lungs are rising up and trying to escape my body. You are always waiting at the back of my throat. My musles twitch and my tongue swells and I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. I get pins and needles everywhere and I can't control my fingers or my lips.
 

I'm not that girl.
I've never been that girl.
I don't want to be that girl.


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animal masks

October 2010

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